Sam’s Club take-and-bake Pizza = Worst Pizza Ever

Every now and then I go to Sam’s Club to get some deals on bulk items for the kitchen. As I walked to the register, they had some of their Member’s Mark brand take-and-bake pizzas on display for only $6.88. That’s a better price than some specials at Papa Murphy’s.

So I grabbed a Pepperoni Pizza and headed home. I preheated the oven and took the pizza out of it’s packaging. Then I realized the dough wasn’t really dough. It wasn’t even soft like dough. It seemed as if it was half-baked before getting shoved in the box. The outside edges were already pretty hard, so perhaps the faux-dough was also over baked.

I plopped it in the oven, followed the directions and 14 minutes later dinner was done. I grabbed my pizza cutter and started making slices, but then I noticed it took great strength to cut all the way through the crust. What the hell did I just buy?

I finished cutting the pizza and then took a bite. The toppings were bland. It felt like I was eating cardboard with tomato sauce. This was absolutely the worst pizza I have ever tasted. I ate two slices but couldn’t eat the edge of the pizza because it was too hard to actually bite into. Once I was finished eating, I realized the roof of my mouth was all torn up. What a horrid experience.

I heard Costco and Sam’s sibling, Walmart, have good pizzas. So maybe those are worth a try. But frankly, you’ll be better off getting the cheapest frozen pizza at the grocery store than buying this thing. If you need a take-and-bake pizza, for a little more change, grab a $7.99 coupon and head to Papa Murphy’s. At least then you’ll know they made the dough that day.

The roof of my mouth will thank you.

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